WAS VIRGINIA WOOLF EASILY PROPOSED BY HER HUSBAND LEONARD WOOLF ?

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Virginia Stephen and Leonard Woolf first met while Virginia was visiting her brother Thoby at Trinity College in the year 1900. When she was wearing white gown, Leonard fell in love with her at first sight. Few years later one of their mutual friends named Lytton Strachey wrote to him to propose Virginia.

“Your destiny is clearly marked out for you, but will you allow it to work? You must marry Virginia. She’s sitting waiting for you, is there any objection? She’s the only woman in the world with sufficient brains, it’s a miracle that she should exist; but if you’re not careful you’ll lose the opportunity…She’s young, wild, inquisitive, discontented, and longing to be in love.”

(Brooks)

On which Leonard replied:

“Do you think Virginia would have me? Wire to me if she accepts. I’ll take the next boat home.”

(Brooks)

The above lines show that somewhere Leonard was not at all confident about Virginia’s response. He had a fear of rejection due to which he was unable to collect the courage to propose her for marriage. Since she did not know Leonard very well and thought the matter to be a joke and consequently gave no answer. It was after two years Leonard met Virginia, needing a place to stay, he rented rooms on top floor of her and soon they began dating each other. During their six months of courtship he dared to propose her numerous times. Fearful of marriage and the emotional involvement is required, Virginia was hesitant to this clearly tried to convince him that she feels no attraction towards him. She said she feels as if she is a rock whenever he talks to her. She has no feelings for him. But on Leonard’s third proposal she accepted his proposal and the couple got engaged and later got married in the year 1912, August 10.

“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide.”

(Camus)

It was just after their marriage Leonard found Virginia’s dislike towards him, which they both blamed on her traumatic sexual childhood abuse as a child. Despite this fact they wanted to have children. But Virginia was heartbroken when her doctors advised her to refrain from motherhood because of her ongoing mental health issues. Throughout their long marriage, Leonard nursed Virginia through multiple bouts of depression, various suicide attempts and ups and downs of her bipolar disorder. Somewhere she got an idea that this problem will not leave her easily rather she will have to leave the world. It was the year 1941 on March 28, shortly after the dawn of World War II, she committed suicide. The below is the suicide note which she has written to her husband.

"Virginia Woolf's suicide letter to her husband" (CC BY - SA 4.0) by Wikipedia

This was the terribly shocking end of that most prominent lady of twentieth century who tried to fight with the negative aspect s of her life till her last breath. But she was also a human being, who has a heart, eventually gave up fighting. There were only her books which gave her some peace during her last days in which she shared every single aspect of her life. This is one of the prominent reasons why she had used the psychoanalytical style of writing, Because she feels this can only heel her wounds.

“I suppose that I did for myself what psycho-analysts do for their patients. I expressed some very long felt and deeply felt emotions. And in expressing it, I explained it and then laid it to rest.”

(Lee 476)

Her books were her closest assets. She believes that she did for herself what psycho-analysts do for their patients as a therapy. These long felt deep emotions were her source of remedy which somehow played the role of healing ailment. Her repeated choice of words shows that she believes the writing of the novel to be a way of pacifying their ghosts.

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